Providing Hope for the Hurting

Every day we come in contact with hurting people. For some, the hurt doesn’t always show on the outside. Some people wear a mask to cover the invisible pain that exists just beneath the surface of their lives. It may be our neighbor, a member of our family, a co-worker, or maybe even the student sitting in our classroom. Instead of showing us their hurt, they may show a variety of outward actions that take our eyes off their pain and focuses us instead on their behaviors... they may project anger, disinterest, boredom, passive aggression, exhaustion, fear, task avoidance, self-harming, bad decision-making, or any combination of these and more. Whether the pain manifests itself outwardly or not makes it no less real for the person experiencing it.

Satan loves to tell us that we are victims who have no power to resist sin. But, Jesus gives us hope and the ability to have peace regardless of our current situation. How can we help others to rise above current circumstances, family situations, current environments, or heredity to accept responsibility and find hope? We have to be Jesus-in-skin for hurting people. Just how can we do this? We can...



Be persistent and consistent in showing grace. Psalm 34:18 says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit. Though folks push us away and act out in every possible way to make us believe they are bad or hardened, underneath the crust is a person who desperately wants to be understood. Ask him or her to explain the emotions he or she is feeling instead of showing them in order to uncover root causes and possible, productive solutions.

Model and teach positive problem-solving. Psalm 145:14 says the Lord helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads. It would be easy to respond to anger with anger...disinterest with disinterest, wouldn't it? But, we are called to help one another to own our failures and circumstances and rise above them. We are not called to fix problems for others, but we are to love others through their trials and hardships and in doing so we are Jesus-in-skin.

Forgive a momentary backslide. All of us fall short of perfection. Each of us sins. Some of us are lucky enough to have our sins be of a more hidden nature. Because we are of the flesh for now and are given grace in Jesus, we must do the same. We are reminded in Lamentations 3:23 Great is His faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. We all long for a clean slate and a chance to begin again. Every day God gives us grace and love so we are freed from the burdens of sin and failure. Let us give the same.

Use your words to be the arms of Jesus. Our verbal responses have the potential to bury someone in despair or to provide hope. So many hurt people have no hope. They may believe that their whole life is a mistake and many around them react in such a way as to prove it to them. They wish they were never born or wonder why they were born into a particular circumstance? We have to remind them that they were known before they were ever conceived and that God purposefully made them. Psalm 139: 13 - 16 says Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out,you know every bone in my body;You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. Remind the hurting that they are wonderfully and intentionally made.

Be present. Sometimes the behaviors we see from others are so foreign to our way of thinking that we are fearful of getting involved. Our first instinct is to let someone else handle it. But in John 16:33 we are told, Don't be afraid, for I am always with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Shouldn't we take a risk to help others learn of the love of Jesus?

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please help us to love those who hurt around us. Help us to see through the outward behaviors and ugliness designed to push us away. May the Holy Spirit give us discernment to see what You see. Give us the courage to show grace and love toward those who need it. Give us the right words to provide comfort and lead others to You. In Jesus Wonderful and Powerful name we pray....Amen.

Finding Comfort in Uncomfortable Conversations

Ephesians 4:25 What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. The Message (MSG)

We've all heard of the different types of lying. Wikipedia defines a lie as one the following:
A lie is a false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth, intentionally.
- A barefaced (or bald-faced) lie is one that is obviously a lie to those hearing it.
- A Big Lie is a lie which attempts to trick the victim into believing something major which will likely be contradicted by some information the victim already possesses, or by their common sense.
- To bluff is to pretend to have a capability or intention one does not actually possess.
- The illusion is a lie often used to make the audience believe that one knows far more about the topic by feigning total certainty or making probable predictions.
- An emergency lie is a strategic lie told when the truth may not be told because, for example, harm to a third party would result.
- An exaggeration (or hyperbole) occurs when the most fundamental aspects of a statement are true, but only to a limited extent.
- A fabrication is a lie told when someone submits a statement as truth, without knowing for certain whether or not it actually is true.
- A half-truth is a deceptive statement that includes some element of truth. The statement might be partly true, the statement may be totally true but only part of the whole truth, or it may employ some deceptive element, such as improper punctuation, or double meaning, especially if the intent is to deceive, evade, blame, or misrepresent the truth.
- An honest lie (or confabulation) is defined by verbal statements or actions that inaccurately describe history, background, and present situations.

Hummmmn...what does all this about lies have to do with us? Well, the purpose in defining the types of lies is to illustrate that there are different motives for someone who lies. Some are for personal gain of some sort and some are to save the feelings of another. Think about the scenarios below:

We have all been in "meeting after the meeting, lesson, or presentation" with colleagues, supervisors, friends, or students, and have one of them ask us, "What did you think?" It's obvious that he or she wants your opinion of his or her performance. Uh oh! Panic. What do we do when we think something could have gone better? Do I tell him or her not?

Let's flip the situation...We are happily engaged in a conversation about something we've proudly participated in i.e. a lesson, a presentation, or an important meeting, only to be taken a back when someone has some criticism or "feedback" for us?

OR, We are sitting in a committee meeting, sales meeting, or professional learning community meeting discussing the results of some portion of our jobs. We notice that our numbers or data stand out in either a good way or not. It could be our sales numbers, our student achievement on a common assessment, work production data, or even the customer satisfaction surveys that are being compared with others. We fully understand that the purpose of these meetings is for accountability, professional learning, and mining best practices from one another. Do we choose to gloat and celebrate our good results; or do we humbly ask questions and share our formula? If we find ourselves in the bottom of a particular performance, do we choose to clam up, pout, and blame circumstances if our data isn't where it should be? Maybe we decide to be choose an attitude of "Wow, this is not what we want. What can we do to get better?"

In each of these everyday scenarios, we have a decision to make whether we are on the giving or receiving end of the feedback and discussion. There in the moment, we have just seconds to decide how to respond.



In the book of James 3:1, James says "...we who teach will be judged more strictly." Teachers therefore need to be challenged to guard their words and examine their lives. A teacher can be defined literally as an educator of students or in a broader sense it could be defined as any leader who provides training and leadership for others. The leader will be judged more strictly as he or she has great influence.

So when the time comes for us to serve in a role that requires us to give feedback we can do one of the following:
- Take the easy way out. Tell him or her what she or he wants to hear. Feed into excuses. Save the feelings of the other person, but fail to help him or her grow and improve. Provide a lie of sorts.
- Speak from the heart with love. Prayerfully choose your words and honestly, truthfully, yet gently, speak from your heart. Offer real suggestions and new ways of thinking or doing.

As the receiver of feedback we can do one of the following:
- Become defensive and make excuses. This is a common first reaction for many. If we let our knee-jerk reaction prevail, people may give up on telling us truth or trying to help us get better. They may conclude that we are incapable of change, growth, and improvement. But is this what we really want?
- Listen with a spirit of openness and humbly accept the feedback for what it is. If we have a friend or colleague who cares enough to tell us the difficult truth, shouldn't we listen? We all need to own the fact that we are of the flesh and are imperfect. We commonly lose sight of our vision or become tired and need reminders to be the best we can be. We can all get very comfortable in being “average” and living life in the land of comfort, but wouldn’t it be great if we could strive to be “awesome” instead? We will only become our best we are willing to open our hearts and minds to the words of others and accept that we all have room for growth. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of the fool is right in his own eye, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Dear Heavenly Father,

We pray for our attitude and hearts to be open to the giving and receiving of honest feedback in all of our relationships at work or at home. Help us to be courageous and know that the truth is always better than a lie. Give us the right words for difficult conversations so they will be heard in a way that is helpful to the receiver. Open our hearts to be humble when we are in the position of receiving feedback that may be hard to hear or even hurtful. Help us to remember that we can always get better and to appreciate the brave person who cared enough to tell us what we needed to hear to become the best we can be. Help us to always find comfort in the truth. In Jesus' powerful name we pray....Amen.

Making a Daily Sacrifice of Self

When you work with people, especially in a service industry, each day requires personal sacrifice. Teachers, parents, sales people, managers, and the like must measure their words and actions carefully in order to produce a positive influence upon those they serve. When you give into a grumpy mood and a let a quick, sharp, careless word slip, months of effective work can be lost. Unresolved conflict with coworkers, parents, supervisors, or students can turn your work place into a battle ground of sorts. Even an act of unintentional indifference can derail a working relationship by sending a message of unimportance. A true follower of Jesus does not put personal needs ahead of others’ needs. They must think before they act; they must purposely "act" rather than "react." They must be okay with rigorous dialogue, appropriate challenge, and uncomfortable conversations. This requires personal sacrifice. So,I give you two parallels of Romans 12:1-2. Each translation gives insight that may prove helpful to making personal meaning when considering what it means to be a living sacrifice.

Romans 12:1 from The Message (MSG)
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:1-2 New Living Translation (NLT)
And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Followers of Jesus should willingly go where they do not choose to go, to do things they prefer not to do, to put personal preferences upon the altar, and to die to their rights for the sake of Christ. We tend to want to live in a place of comfort and safety, but Paul calls us to present ourselves as a sacrifice before God--a living sacrifice. God wants us to willingly crawl on the sacrificial table and die to ourselves (put to death our will) each day we live. Each morning we are to "present" ourselves before God as the daily "sacrifice"--a sacrifice of our personal will, our way, our desires, our preferences, our comfort and our plans.

Being a living sacrifice is a huge challenge for us. Our flesh-nature keeps getting in the way and causes us to crawl off the alter and back to our place of safety. But, we can do so much more if we allow ourselves to be a tool in God's hands. Do you realize the full impact of someone completely surrendered as a "tool" for God's purposes? When we die to ourselves each morning, we are free to seek God's will. We are released from our own expectations and agendas, and empowered to do the work of the Lord. Paul says that this is our form of worship to God.



Why is it so hard for us to be a living sacrifice? We are flesh; we have wants and needs; we want to have fun; we have goals and desire success; we want to be accepted by others; who wants to die? Not me! Jesus said in Matthew 16:25 Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it (KJV). Death to self is the way to life! It may be easier said than done, yet you can choose to make this decision each day by applying the following:

1. Do not conform to the world. Conforming is an outward process that others can see and is defined as the following:
con•form•i•ty (kənˈfɔr mɪ ti) n., pl. -ties.
1. action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc.
2. correspondence in form, nature, or character; agreement; congruity.
3. compliance or acquiescence; obedience.

2. Be transformed. Transformation is an inward process. The mind and heart are changed. This process can take years. God’s promises us in Ezekiel 36:26, New Living Translation (NLT)... And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. Sometimes we slip back into the old mind set and the mind must be renewed or "sacrificed" often.

3. Be humble in service. We must not think too highly of ourselves and become complacent. Serving others is our way to fulfill our place in the Body of Christ. View each conversation with another, unplanned interruption, or unforeseen need as giving ourselves over as a personal sacrifice and another opportunity to win one over for Christ.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We are willing to be used up for You. Give us the courage to crawl on the sacrificial altar each day, to go the direction You chose for us and to follow You wherever You lead. Teach us how to die to ourselves daily and view each act and circumstance as a form of worship of You. We pray in Jesus' Most Awesome Name...Amen.

Lead with the Heart of Jesus

Ephesians 4:2-3

2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. New Living Translation (NLT)


Your classroom climate will be determined by your attitude. Your school climate will reflect the principal's attitude. AND the district climate will reflect the attitude of the Superintendent. Any place of work will have the climate set by its leader. Essentially, the leader sets the tone, and the workers or students reflect the behavior of the leader. There are joyful, fun-loving leaders, strict, no-nonsense ones, diligent detailed leaders, and quiet, gentle leaders. All of these personalities can be successful in the classrooms, schools, and businesses. But a leader with a negative attitude, whether angry, unforgiving, uncaring, uninterested, unethical, or arrogant, will have difficulties in discipline and overall management.

Jesus told us that the greatest leaders among us would be great servants (Matt. 23:11). A leader is a servant. We are called to serve, to teach, and to share the knowledge that God has so graciously allowed us to learn. Leaders must never have a proud spirit. Our age, education, and experience have equipped us to go beyond ourselves and our pride. We must approach our classrooms or places of work with humility, but also with confidence knowing that God has supplied us with a message to teach and lead.

As conflicts arise whether you lead adults or children, we must take a moment to remember our own mistakes from our pasts. This will help us find a balance in our discipline/correction as we realize that many mistakes are due to immaturity, inexperience, and or simple thoughtlessness, not mutiny or outright defiance. If a student or employee is rebellious, we are to give firm correction and encourage him or her to change the defiant behavior. If one lacks understanding, or forgets, we must re-teach as we work to modify behavior. Two people can display exactly the same behavior for two different reasons--rebellion or naivety. The only way we can determine which applies to the particular offense is to allow the offender to explain. Patiently listen for what is said "beneath" the explanation.



Love the individual as you learn of the underlying cause for the challenge. The Love of Christ can help you understand the person who tests you repeatedly. He/she may be an adult or a child. He/she may be immature regardless of age. He/she may not see through the same seasoned, mature, experienced eyes that you do. Gently, lovingly, and firmly deal with those "for" their good” and, "for" their future. Draw from the love of God within you, and get rid of any negative emotions you have before you discipline. Pride and/or anger can block your ability to do this. You must lay down pride and replace it with a grateful heart, full of humility and the willingness to serve God's Kingdom. Demonstrate Emotional Constancy, which is technique 47 in Doug Lemov's Teach Like a Champion.

A teacher’s or leader's Emotional Constancy is a source of students’ and/or employees steadiness in performance. Emotional Constancy does not mean expressing no emotions. It means that you express emotions as a way of consistently promoting learning and achievement. Emotionally constant leaders do the following:

1. Control their own emotions rather than let others control them;
2. Use their outward show of emotions to keep the moving forward;
3. Tie their language to achievement and positive behavioral expectations;
4. Earn the trust of those with whom they work by always being in control of self and of the room or office;
5. Use that control respectfully to help others cope with emotional trials that interfere with performance.


Dear God,

Discipline and management of people seems to be the hardest and most emotionally draining part of our jobs. We expect others to do what they are supposed to do just because it is right. But, some are not so trusting of us to just accept that we know what is best for the classroom or our organization. We chose to lay down our pride and pick up a servant's attitude. Help us to learn Your ways as we teach and lead others. Help us to not let anger or hurt build up but instead guide us in letting all of that go. Help us to realize that most of the uncooperative behavior of others comes from a place or experience that has nothing to do with us personally and usually comes from a place of hurt or prior bad experiences. Give us Your eyes, Your heart, and Your words as we address those who test us and challenge us in our work. In Jesus's Awesome Name we pray...Amen.

Adapted from http://www.teacherdevotion.com/Devotion_Archives.html and Teach Like a Champion by Doug Lemov.

Breaking Through to Those With Hardened Hearts

The German atheist Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) was a philosopher of the late 19th century who challenged the foundations of Christianity and traditional morality. Nietzsche once said that if he saw more redeemed people he might be more inclined to believe in their Redeemer. Doesn't that speak volumes?

Christians who complain, gossip, belittle others, always jump to negative conclusions, or in general do not demonstrate the fruit of the spirit have a believability gap.
If I try to convince you that my diet is great, but I am still overweight, you will question the effectiveness of the plan. If I tell you about a great instructional strategy to try in the classroom, but my students still perform poorly on assessments, you will question my ability select an effective strategy. If I talk about how awesome God is, yet I humiliate my students by yelling at them, you will question my God. What good does it do to tell people how great our Savior is if they cannot see that we ourselves have been saved from sin? Let your light shine.

What does Jesus mean by light? Jesus also calls Himself "the light of the world." In the book of John He is called "the life that is the light of men," "the light that shines in the darkness" (John 1:4-5). The light in us is His light, the indwelling Christ, the Holy Spirit within us. The apostle Paul speaks of "the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ" (2 Corinthians 4:4). We have that light shining through our lives if our actions reflect the nature of Christ—His love, compassion, and forgiveness. His light shines through our attitudes, words, and deeds. When people see that our lives have been changed they see the power of God at work in us, they will agree that we do have a great Savior. When they see redeemed people, they are more inclined to believe that we have a Redeemer. The Christlike life is what becomes convincing and leads others to question why we behave in such ways.

A lost person is not capable of worshiping and coming into the presence of a holy God. But that lost person can see and hear us praising God and be brought to faith in Him. The psalmist says that when I have a new song of praise in my mouth, many will see it and be awestruck by our great God and come to trust in Him.

A believer filled with praise makes a tremendous positive impact on an unbeliever. As well, a believer with a hardened heart, can also have a tremendous impact - a negative one. God made us so that we can harden our hearts and literally shut out unwanted influences. It was meant to be a positive thing, but because we haven’t understood this, what God meant for good has actually worked against us. How many times have you purposefully avoided a social event, particular person, student, or parent in order to save yourself the trouble of interacting with someone or maybe there is a fear of being sucked into the behavior.

The world has its own priorities for sure. It's good for Christians to participate in some activities, as it is there, we will find those who do not yet know our Savior. But by avoiding drinks with friends (no one says you have to drink or you could model moderation) or by attending a private school instead of a public one, we miss out on opportunities to win unbelievers over to Christ.

A challenge for you is to intentionally look for those around us, students, colleagues, parents, friends, or supervisors, who demonstrate stress, anger, fear, or emotional outbursts. It is quite possible that they may have had little or no experience with unconditional love and they won't know what to do with positivity and kindness. They are not accustomed to getting anything “free” or receiving anything they have not earned or deserved. Many are used to acting in a such a way as to intentionally push you away or run you off in order to avoid being rejected. They take a proactively abrasive and confrontational approach to everyone that comes into their lives. But, God can soften their hearts and minds, as we become Jesus in skin for them. Do not be discouraged when you continue to receive negative responses, as it was a process that occurred over time that brought them to where they are now, and it will take a process of deliberate acts to help them see that there is another way to live.

As you go into this week work to apply these five actions:

Be Christ's Ambassador. - Represent Him and His purposes…and His purpose is to reconcile everyone to God, to draw us all nearer to our Creator who loves us.

Be Courageous. - Fortify yourself with prayer to allay any fears of becoming like the world or being sucked into negative behaviors.

Be Intentional. - Choose to interact with those who are typically more difficult and allow God to take control of the situation. Let God plant the seed in that person that can later be harvested.

Be Loving. - In all circumstances speak the truth, but do so in love. In doing so, you will open yourself up and Christ's light will shine through.

Be Responsive. - Allow Christ to speak to you in all situations and then respond as such. Allow Him to guide you in every word you speak, interaction you have, or task you accomplish.

Not everyone will understand when you interact with them "on purpose". That's alright. Let others have their thoughts. But let it be the love of Christ that compels you. Let the love of Christ refocus you, set your priorities and purpose, and determine how you feel about yourself. Let the love of Christ impact everything you say and do. Let it move you to kindness and positive action.

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14 NLT

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for God to show us what really matters in our classrooms and schools, so that it's not the pressure of having low test scores that compels us to make it through each day, but the love of Christ. Allow God to help us act not from a sense competition or pride, but from a sense of His love. Allow Him to make His presence known to us, so that His love will be so all-encompassing, so overwhelming, so beyond understanding that we cannot help but be compelled by it in every aspect of your work so others will wonder why and question. I pray that we will be given the opportunity to share that Christ is our Lord and Savior. In Jesus' Holy Name I pray....Amen.

Adapted from Hardness of Heart:A Condition You May Have and Not Even Know it… by Andrew Wommack & Compelled by the love of Christ by Angela Watson.