Reasoning or Arguing: What’s better?

Do you have a difference of opinion with a co-worker or a reoccurring challenge with another department at work? Maybe it is a difference in how to approach or solve a problem. Maybe it is how to address a client or a student. Whether you are in the role of leader or teammate, soft skills are extremely important to your ability to communicate your thought process effectively, even when we might be angry, and have a positive outcome. Below are some wise words written by George Whitten that give credence to using your emotional intelligence to manage workplace minefields.

Softer is better!

Thursday, March 22, 2012 (10:13 am) by George Whitten, Editor of Worthy Devotions

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

How often, in all the issues we have to deal with talking with people, we know or we feel we are right; our idea, our position, our interpretation is it, and we're ready to fight for it. Forget the fact that we may not be, or that there might be something we're completely ignorant of. The truth is that sometimes we know better, and sometimes we don't. But the scripture teaches us, and I've learned from experience (most of the time), that arguing, forcefulness, and violence in my own voice are almost guaranteed to start a futile and ugly war of words. People are naturally defensive, and often, naturally offensive.

But I can be the one to break the pattern…with a gentle answer. If my heart attitude is “Come, let us reason together, hear each other out, respect each other, speak softly, and trust the Lord for the outcome", and my tone of voice carries that spirit, I can actually help the other person to calm down and prevent a war. The fruit of the spirit is…..self control. What a blessing!

Do you want to start a fight…..or finish one? Give a gentle answer today and see what the Lord does!

How can we apply the lesson in Proverbs 15:1 and implement Mr. Whitten's words at work? So often we tell ourselves that if we can just get "it" out, our emotion, that we will feel better even if it comes at the expense of a relationship or trust of a coworker. But if we are honest with ourselves, hurting a working relationship with an emotional, harsh or angry outburst, can be of very little benefit to us. But, sometimes the outburst just creeps up on us and flies out of our mouths before we know it. The key is to prepare your mind and heart before you get to work each day. Below are three actions you can take to help you in working through a difficult conversation.



Praying for the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and minds even when we don't know what we need specifically. Romans 8:26-28 MSG says, Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. We can never truly know the thoughts of others, but God does. He will help us form value added words and thoughts if we let Him.

Ask Jesus to give you the ability to hold your responses captive before letting them out. Give yourself time to wisely consider your words and run them through your filter before speaking. 1 Peter 3:8-12 MSG says, Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

Whoever wants to embrace life
and see the day fill up with good,
Here’s what you do:
Say nothing evil or hurtful;
Snub evil and cultivate good;
run after peace for all you’re worth.
God looks on all this with approval,
listening and responding well to what he’s asked;
But he turns his back
on those who do evil things.

Trust Jesus to provide you with His words and not your own. Expect His response and provision. Matthew 10:19-20 says, And don’t worry about what you’ll say or how you’ll say it. The right words will be there; the Spirit of your Father will supply the words.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We pray for you to help us choose to reason rather than fight if at all possible. We pray for the ability to be soft even when we don't feel like it. Help us to hold our fleshly thoughts and attitude captive and allow your attitude and words to take over when we are weak and tired. Fortify our faith in You that You will provide all that we need when we need it. It's in Jesus's all powerful name we pray...Amen.